Week One, Tuesday.

[goatsongs]

[Chuuya has cut holes in the gimp mask so that it still covers his cheek but isn't so much... that.

It'll make this conversation less weird, but not by much.]

Have you had sex yet?

Comments

[leggymaru]

I like the baths. [they're hot tubs dingdong] They're relaxing. The aquarium is also nice. But I've never seen anything like it before.

[goatsongs]

[Baths, hot tubs, same difference.]

We've got aquariums at home. Not really my type of place, if I want to go somewhere quiet I'll pick an art museum, but some people really like them.

[leggymaru]

[Ahh. A museum. That’s where he’s at in real life! Not that he knows that.]

It sounds interesting. Do you paint or draw, Chuuya-san?

[goatsongs]

Nope. I can write poetry, and I can sing, but the rest of the arts I just appreciate as an outsider.

[leggymaru]

Can you really sing? [His back tenses as if he's... perking up?] I would like to hear you sing, Chuuya-san. I enjoy singing, too.

I can't write poetry, though... or draw.

[goatsongs]

[Chuuya has to sit up to sing properly. Of all the songs he could choose, the ones that come most easily to him are, of course, his own.

He sounds better than this guy.]

Morning, the dull sun shining,
and it’s windy.
A thousand angels
play basketball.

I close my eyes:
it’s a sad drunkenness.
A derelict kerosene
heater rusts in white.

Morning, the dull sun shining,
and it’s windy.
A thousand angels
play basketball.

[leggymaru]

[He really wants to turn around so he can watch Chuuya sing, but he's a good boy, so he resists the urge. It's frustrating he can't see the expression on Chuuya's face, but in a way, it helps him simply listen to the voice.

It surprises him, not that he believed Chuuya to be a bad singer. He is deathly silent the entire time, lips parted. It's very familiar, how it sounds. Like it could be one of the songs they sing for their master.]

Chuu...ya...san. [Wow!] That was amazing.

[goatsongs]

You think so?

[Chuuya's proud of his poetry, but his singing is something he just - does. Not even a performance, really, but just what leaves his lips when he isn't thinking too hard. He doesn't think of himself as a singer in the same way that most humans don't think of themselves as breathers.

He presses his face against Hizamaru's back again.]

I wrote it.

[leggymaru]

[He glances back finally, but not, like, all the way around. More like he turns his jaw against his shoulder and arm, but his eyes are elsewhere.]

Really? You're an amazing writer, too, Chuuya-san. Sometimes... when our master isn't feeling well, he'll ask us for a song or a dance. It reminds me of the songs we sing for him. Or the songs we sing when we're on a mission.

[goatsongs]

[Even if he can't really see Chuuya's face, just the turning makes Chuuya turn his head to the side to hide his cheek against Hizamaru's back. No chances.]

Could I hear you sing sometime?

[leggymaru]

[It's fine. Feeling Chuuya move, he remembers to turn his head back and try to behave.]

Yes. Do you want me to sing now?

[goatsongs]

Sure.

["Yes, please."]

[leggymaru]

Okay.

[For a moment, he's thoughtful. He doesn't sit up to sing; not that he's amazing enough to do it lying down, but he doesn't sing with enough fervor for it to be bad. It's like this but with less pop music, of course. He gives Chuuya the first couple of verses.

He unfortunately has a really good voice.]

Stay. Stay.

I saw this dream so many times,
unable to reach you no matter how much I reached out.
I always grasped only air.

If we could be at a distance such that I could touch you if I wished,
if I could be reflected back in those eyes,
if you could be there.

I will dedicate the beginning and ending to you.
Throwing away this illusion,
I cannot go back anymore.

Just be in my sight.
My body is hot and the wind is strong.
Looking at you,
my heart is being burned by these strong emotions.

A truth that we cannot look away from,
I want to discover that with you.
Just be in my sight.
This heart is always a part of you.

Stay. Stay. Stay.

[goatsongs]

[It's a beautiful song, with a beautiful voice. It's really unfortunate, because those words, in this situation, can only bring up one memory of a person he won't see again-

Tears wet Hizamaru's back.]

[leggymaru]

[Oh. Whoops. He's not sure what to do--usually he's the one crying.]

Chuuya-san...? [He can't turn around, so he just... reaches back to touch Chuuya a bit, briefly.] Are you okay? I'm sorry.

[goatsongs]

I'm f-fine. [No he's not, and it's obvious from the way he leans into Hizamaru's hand.] It just... reminded me of something, that's all.

[Something he's already reminded of by it being written on his skin.]

[leggymaru]

[He keeps his hand there for several moments, and then he lowers it by his side so he doesn't bug Chuuya so much (he thinks).]

I won't sing it again, Chuuya-san, okay?

[goatsongs]

[It's not about the song. It's not even about the words on his face. It's not about any/i> of this.]

...you can turn around if you want.

[He's so tired.]

[leggymaru]

[He shakes his head fervently.]

It's okay, Chuuya-san. I don't have to look. I don't mind.

[goatsongs]

It doesn't matter. What does any of this matter? Even if I hide these stupid words, nothing will change. Even if they weren't there, I can't forget it.

[hizamaru is too good for this.]

[leggymaru]

[For a moment or two, he still won't turn around.] Everyone has one, right, Chuuya-san? [Very slowly, he turns his head, just a bit at first, just enough to see some of Chuuya out of the corner of his eye.]

They aren't nice things, and... they do still hurt.

[goatsongs]

...It would be easier if I thought you all would hate me for it. If I were blamed.

[But the pain he's in isn't enough to convince him that the others would blame him. Just as knowing that can't keep him from blaming himself.

He touches his cheek lightly. Couldn't save my son.]

Does it ever stop hurting?

[leggymaru]

[After a bit, he finally turns over to his back, peering at Chuuya. His eyes flicker to the cheek, but look at Chuuya again after.]

I don't think so, Chuuya-san. I'm sorry. [His lips thin sympathetically.] I'm a thousand years old, but... sometimes it still hurts.

I wasn't forged correctly. I was longer than elder brother.

[goatsongs]

[Chuuya's first thought is 'so what?' but. No, it's obviously important to them. Size does, apparently, matter.]

Does he hold it against you?

[leggymaru]

I'm not sure. [His eyes lower.] When we were presented to our master by our smiths... I was three shaku long, but elder brother was only two shaku and seven suns.

Elder brother's smith was imprisoned; our master thought he had stolen some of the iron. The smith prayed for the gods to show his honor. Elder brother unsheathed and... cut the extra length away from me so we were equal.

It's okay. I accept the god's punishment for being forged wrong.