Week One, Tuesday.

[goatsongs]

[Chuuya has cut holes in the gimp mask so that it still covers his cheek but isn't so much... that.

It'll make this conversation less weird, but not by much.]

Have you had sex yet?

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[goatsongs]

[Of course Hizamaru says that. Of course.]

...Maybe if I'd fed him different food, he wouldn't have gotten sick. Maybe if I'd realized sooner he was sick. Maybe if I'd had a real job with a real paycheck, I'd have been able to afford a better doctor for him.

There had to have been something.

[Because otherwise, what kind of world would he have lived in, where his son was doomed to die no matter what?]

[leggymaru]

[His brows crease. It's hard for him to fully understand, as something almost immortal. As something which has been around for a long time, fortunately unbroken, something that now has a human body that doesn't have to suffer anything like that really.

But he still has empathy for humans. And it still pains him to see them suffer.]

I'm a treasure of the Minamoto Clan. I've been passed down from father to son many times. Some of them die younger than others, but they always die. Because dying is a part of being human, Chuuya-san. It's what makes you you.

I can't say if there was anything more you could have given, but there must have been something you were already giving. Right, Chuuya-san? Without you, he wouldn't have been able to do a lot of things he was able to do, even for a short time.

[goatsongs]

[He spoiled Fumiya. Of course he did. He gave everything it was in his power to give to his beloved son. And Fumiya was happy, at least for a little while.]

...it isn't fair.

[Chuuya curls up, head in his arms.]

He had so much life ahead of him.

[leggymaru]

[Slowly, he sits up a little, and he reaches out to place a hand on one of Chuuya's arms. He squeezes it gently.]

We shouldn't change history, Chuuya-san. No matter how painful it may be. It needs to be protected so the world can continue on the same path. Any deviation can make things worse. If you changed something, he might not even exist.

I don't think he would want you to feel guilty, or be sad. He wouldn't want to cause you grief. Maybe like here, you will see him one day on the other side, if that's what you believe.

What was his name, Chuuya-san?

[goatsongs]

[No matter how painful the memories are, Chuuya would never want to risk his son not being in his life at all. Even if Chuuya doesn't deserve better, his child does.]

Fumiya.

[leggymaru]

Fumiya-kun. It's a good name, Chuuya-san. I'm sorry that I couldn't meet him, but I would have liked to, I think.

[goatsongs]

He would've liked you too. He always liked meeting new people.

[leggymaru]

Meeting new people is fun. He probably would have liked elder brother better, but... elder brother has that way with people. He's always laughing and smiling. He has a free spirit I wish I had.

[goatsongs]

Fumiya'd like both of you. I like you better, personally.