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« goatsongs » TEXT ✧ AUDIO ✧ VIDEO ✧ ACTION NAKAHARA CHUUYA ✦ BUNGOU TO ALCHEMIST
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GEMBOND ✦ Amethyst

"Yo, it's Nakahara Chuuya. I'm way too busy to talk to you right now, so leave a message and I'll get back to you. Probably."

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Comments

[loopsbian]

Simply revolting. Did nobody teach you how to treat a young lady? You're meant to chide me for such unbecoming habits!

[goatsongs]

Sorry, I only had boys, I don't know how to deal with young ladies.

[loopsbian]

[ what ]

Mr. Chuuya, I didn't take you for a parent!

[goatsongs]

I don't know how I should take that.

[loopsbian]

I'd always assumed you were
Well, younger, I suppose?
Not quite my age, of course, but something a bit closer.
More like a brother than

[ oh. she hit the wrong button.

...how does she unsend a message.

How Does She Unsend A Message. ]

[goatsongs]

That's not so bad to hear. [She definitely could have meant it in a much worse way.] But no, I died at age thirty.

1/2

[loopsbian]

I have no idea what you could mean. This dreaded phone corrected "bother."

[ she's embarrassed to say any of this- ]

2/2

[loopsbian]

[ -especially when he follows up with that. ]

Oh
I had no idea? You didn't seem thirty
That's

My condolences. I treaded thoughtlessly on ideas that should be approached carefully.

[goatsongs]

Don't worry about it. I'm not upset about my own death - I did more with thirty years than some people accomplish with ninety, I'm satisfied.

[loopsbian]

Don't think to speak for me! I'm not worried or upset.
I'm simply trying to be polite.

[ she's simply worried and upset, is all. ]

If you say you're satisfied, then I suppose that's all there is to it.
So that's that.

May I ask a somewhat improper question, Mr. Chuuya?

[goatsongs]

Go for it.

[loopsbian]

I understand that you are satisfied with the life you led.
But are you pleased to have a second attempt nonetheless?

[goatsongs]

[That's a good question, and it takes a couple minutes for him to answer.]

It's hard not to think about the people who deserve a second chance more than I do.

[loopsbian]

Perhaps so.
I know little of your life and your own trials.
That said, my question is not one of "shoulds" and "should nots."

Mr. Chuuya, are you pleased to be alive?
Knowing that you have died once, and will near undoubtedly die again, is this life still worthwhile?

[goatsongs]

I guess I am. I wouldn't have met you, otherwise.

[That alone might make the pain worthwhile.]

[loopsbian]

[ this time, it's satoko's turn to stay silent. a minute passes, then two, and it's halfway through the third when she finally says: ]

I'm glad.
Really, truly glad.

I hope she feels similarly.

[goatsongs]

I can't speak for her feelings. Only mine.

[loopsbian]

I know. I wouldn't ask you to try.

[goatsongs]

I wouldn't know what it's like to die over and over again, either. My only advice there is 'try not to go out through brain disease, it sucks'.

[loopsbian]

I have no intention of dying if I can help it.
As little as that may mean.
But...

I'm certain it's not quite the same.
And if you don't want to dwell on the past, far be it from me to force you.
But if you should ever require someone to speak with who understands,
I was in a similar boat all too recently.

[goatsongs]

Do you want to talk about it?

I appreciate the offer, but I'm not going to pressure you to talk if you'd rather not.

[loopsbian]

I should be asking the same to you!
For me, I'm really not sure there's much to say on the matter...
It's simply an offer of solidarity, not a concern of mine.

[goatsongs]

I don't know if there's anything for me to say either. It's a shitty way to go, and I don't like thinking about it, but I can't do much about it now.