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« goatsongs » TEXT ✧ AUDIO ✧ VIDEO ✧ ACTION NAKAHARA CHUUYA ✦ BUNGOU TO ALCHEMIST
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"Yo, it's Nakahara Chuuya. I'm way too busy to talk to you right now, so leave a message and I'll get back to you. Probably."

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[goatsongs]

[putting together a poem in actual Japanese is more powerful than I ever could be and I respect it]

I like it. That feeling of being trapped in a small town, while no one else understands why you feel that way - that's a feeling that makes a powerful poem.

1/2

[loopsbian]

[ ...he liked it? ]

2/2

[loopsbian]

[ right. of course he liked it! it's not a surprise, really, it's just. you know. not something she's used to hearing. that's all. nothing more. ]

My thanks to you.
And I see what you mean about feelings being important, at least.
I tried several times about things like nature and the seasons and all that nonsense, but found nothing productive there.

Nonetheless, I don't think the town has to be small for this feeling...
And I'm not particularly pleased with the shimo no ku.
I thought I had an interesting idea with the two lines being constructed similarly. Two traps laid side by side, with only slight differences between them.
But I couldn't make the last line fit without just cutting a whole syllable out.

Really, what silly restrictions.

[ 1) satoko, you're not supposed to tell people to interpret it differently.
2) congratulations, chuuya. you actually got satoko to focus and think about something, from the sounds of it. ]

[goatsongs]

Right? A poem that doesn't have feelings in it is lifeless.

That's why I'm more of a fan of free verse. But the restriction of tanka and haiku can be helpful if you're the type to get paralyzed by too much freedom. It's not my thing, but I respect people who focus on that style of poetry.

[loopsbian]

Yes, that's precisely the word! "Lifeless." Like a trap with no mechanism attached.

I tried writing it to be freer at first.
It simply was more effort than it was worth.
Tanka may be an unnecessary stress, but at least with the syllable count it was easier to understand what sort of words went where.
Perhaps that's the issue?

[goatsongs]

It's a skill like any other. You're not good at it instantly, it takes practice.

[loopsbian]

Yes, yes, I suppose...
But I've always felt there was a a certain value to those skills that came naturally, too.

It doesn't hurt to have a few learned skills, I guess...

[goatsongs]

Even people with natural talent have to practice, or else they waste their full potential.

If you write anything else, let me know, I'd love to see it.

[loopsbian]

Well, of course. I know that much.

Are you sure?
Really and truly?

[goatsongs]

Yeah, I'm sure. You've got potential to become an amazing poet someday.

[loopsbian]

[ she's... honestly not sure she's ever heard anything like that before. not directed at her, at least. it takes her a minute or two to actually respond. ]

If you're certain, then.
I'll bring an even better one next time!

[goatsongs]

I look forward to seeing it.

[Is this what it's like to mentor the next generation of poets?

It's not bad. It feels good, actually.]