Entry tags:
Heart Seed Ruin Log
[You suddenly find yourself in the entrance to a library. Well, it should be an entrance - if you turn around, there isn’t a door behind you, but there’s a desk that says ‘RETURNS’ and a desk that says ‘HELP’, both with containers full of pens on them. There’s also rows and rows of bookcases all stuffed full of books.
Naturally, both the returns desk and the help desk are staffed: the returns desk by a bright-looking young boy, and the help desk by a serious-looking man.
Beyond the shelves of books, there’s a steel door to the left, as well as a wooden door to the right.]
Naturally, both the returns desk and the help desk are staffed: the returns desk by a bright-looking young boy, and the help desk by a serious-looking man.
Beyond the shelves of books, there’s a steel door to the left, as well as a wooden door to the right.]
TRUE SELF
Go away.
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[Her heart breaks. Approaching the cell, her stomach clenches, gut wrenching. He looks broken, curled upon himself, face hidden. Throat tight, she kneels down upon the ground, hands gently clutching the bars, long hair hiding her face for now. She can feel tears sting the corner of her eyes. She can practically feel his pain.]
You've suffered for a long time all alone.
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I don't want to let anyone else in. I don't want people to know how I'm suffering.
[Normally, he wouldn't say this - but his true heart is more honest than Chuuya would be normally.]
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[She asks quietly, remaining as she is for the moment.]
Is being alone really the answer? [It can't erase the past, and doesn't change what happened.]
Whenever... whenever I was scared as a child, or in pain. Whenever my past came to haunt me, there was always someone there to pat my head. During those times, even when it hurt, I knew that even if I couldn't stand on my own, there was someone else there to help me back up to my feet. Sometimes it's impossible to stand up all on your own, unless another is there beside you.
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[He looks up at her at last. He's smiling so, so painfully.]
Showing your wounds to people gives them the chance to hurt you more. At least the pain I already have won't get any worse.
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I am weak.
[She glances down, a bitter smile touching her lips.]
I'm supposed to be the scariest most powerful being back home, you know? I thought being a vampire made me strong, but- I'm terrified all the time. Power has never once helped me to feel secure. It never helped me hold onto the people I love.
[Her heart hurts, chest churning. Is she even qualified to talk to him like this? When sometimes it feels like everything has begun to crash down upon her.]
You know... I've been betrayed and hurt by the people I love most. Even now back home I'm struggling to understand why. Sometimes it hurts so badly, I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know anything, and I'm constantly lost.
[Right now she's nothing by a lion cub surrounded by predators that want to consume her.]
But even though I keep chasing after the reason as to why that person hurt me, or why my best friend is also my enemy, I... even when I was completely lost and just wanted to disappear, there were people that picked me up. There's still people that want to see me smile, who put themselves on the line for my sake or risk their lives.
[Reaching through the bars she tries to stretch out to him.]
Even if I've been betrayed and hurt, and even if I'm weak, there are still people that accept me for me. Sometimes it's painful, but... it's even more unbearable alone. [So very lonely and devastating.]
That's why, Nakahara-san, you don't have to be alone. Even if you're weak, or you've made mistakes or are scared, it's okay. It's okay, because I'm here, as well as the rest of your friends.
[It's not just her. She's confident about that. A person like him lights up the world around him.]
Everyone cares about you. No one thinks less of you. You're incredible. You've endured so much pain, but you still manage to smile. You helped me when I had no one else to turn to. You helped me find a job, and have done so much. I don't think you're weak at all. You're strong, and brave, and a genuinely caring person. If anything, I truly admire you.
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He stares at her with wide eyes, before looking aside. That kind of sincerity is hard for him to face, still. Maybe it always will be hard for him.
But...
It takes him a moment, but he pulls out from one of his pockets a silver key, and places it in her outstretched hand.]
It locks from the outside.
[Someone had to reach for him, but more than that, he had to be willing to be reached for.]
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Immediately she swings the bars open, and before he can move or say anything, her arms wrap around him. She's sorry that he had to suffer. That he's done so alone, bottling all those emotions up. Embrace tight, she holds him tight. He doesn't have to struggle alone any more.]
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This doesn't fix everything. Nothing ever will, but... Maybe not dealing with it alone really will help. Maybe - maybe things will be a little less painful, from now on.
She'll feel the warmth of tears hitting her shoulder, just before their surroundings fade away, leaving her outside the City's library next to a Chuuya who's stirring from his sleep.]
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Nakahara-san! Nakahara-san, are you all right?
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[Chuuya groans and turns over. Grumpy as usual, but not in bad health.
All is well, all is normal.]
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That's a line only a teenager is allowed to use. Reaching out she pokes him in the cheek.]
Nakahara-san, the library is on fire.
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What the hell is going on-
[Uh, they're in front of the library and he doesn't smell smoke.]
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[She laughs, smiling, wiping a couple lingering tears from her eyes.]
Somehow I knew that would wake you up.
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[...he remembers what happened in there, at least the parts his true heart was privy to, but he's not going to bring them up himself.]
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I was worried about you. If you're going to sleep, lets get you inside, okay?
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...I guess that's reasonable.
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[It's an honest question...!!!]
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[And being carried by her would be embarrassing...!]
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Okay...
[Let her worry a little though. Which is why when she stands up she turns around and crouches.]
But if you're still tired you can hop on my back.
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[He manages to get to his feet without falling over or anything.]